scijessreads

The last weeks have been rough on the personal front. Earlier this summer my uncle passed after a brain tumor diagnosis. He had surgery to remove the tumor, but it came back quickly and he ended up in hospice and passed soon after. It was unexpected (even though he was around 80 years old). He and my aunt were like my second set of parents, and I hadn’t been out to see them in over a year, so it still doesn’t feel real.

While on a long-planned trip to FL to see friends and celebrate a residency graduation (my friend is now a board-certified doctor), we got word that some of our other friends coming to the celebration had to turn around and go home because his dad was in a freak work accident and did not make it. The weekend was full of high and lows and I can’t even imagine what they were feeling. It was a stark reminder that life is finite and we never know when it will end.

And just this last Friday, I got the call that my grandma passed away. She had been the last of my grandparents still living. I had just seen her this Spring, and she looked good, even though she was slowing down. But apparently over the last couple months she started declining pretty rapidly. So, the news was not unexpected, but it was still sudden. She was in her 80’s as well, so a long, full life. But still. Loss hurts, no matter the age of the loved one.

And these were after losing my grandpa and my cat of 19 years last fall. And my mom’s good friend also passed away this past year. This year has been a doozy in terms of loss.

I am not one to fall into huge expressions of emotion. I never have been. I do cry, and I have in the last couple days, but I also manage to compartmentalize and push things deep. Not sure if that is the best way to deal with things, but it is what it is right now. What this has done is make me even more thoughtful about life. About how bittersweet it can be. And how much we need to live as much as we can each day, because you never know what will happen next.