scijessreads

Usually, in a new year, we make resolutions of things to do that are ostensibly meant to make us better people. For the last few years, I have made no resolutions or goals. Honestly, just surviving was enough for me.

But now, a few months in, I have a resolution of sorts to proclaim. A year of less. And not in a way that means I am accepting less from myself and others. The opposite, actually. I want to be happy with less distraction and stuff. To need less to manage my life and time.

To deal with less in an attempt to enjoy more. More of me. More of life. More of what matters. This elder millenial wants to go back to her analog roots. To disentagle the digital onslaught from every facet of my life and remind myself how to sit back and respect the stillness and the slowness and the random moments that just happen between the big ones.

I’ve started clearing surfaces in my apartment. Not getting rid of everything, but making it less cluttered and only keeping the things that – in the words of Marie Kondo – bring me joy. I am finding my way back to physical ephemera and journaling. I am taking things OFF my plate instead of adding them on.

In the book world, this has turned into me stepping away from one content team (I am still on two that I will hold onto as they are the originals and I love the authors too much not to). It has turned into me not seeking out ARCs anymore beyond those teams, so I can be my mood reader self and not feel guilt or anxiety that I am not reading the books sitting in my digital pile. I just went to Netgalley and declined to review the last 5 sitting there and basically put my account on hiatus.

I think I’ve lost who I am lately with everything going on in the world and with work, and I want to find her again. I want to find the girl (woman) who loves randomly exploring new places, happily sitting in quiet corners with drinks and books and observing the world move around.

I like grandma hobbies, damnit, and I want to find the time to persue them again.

I mean, I did just buy a sewing machine…