scijessreads

Getting a bit philosophical with this one. In a way, wondering about who we are in the world and how we come to be fully realized versions of ourselves (if that every truly happens) makes me go back to the question of nature vs. nurture. Are we are who we are because of our surroundings, or because it is inherent in us? Or do they both play a role? And if they both play a role, is it a 50/50 split, or more amorphous? Does one take precedence over the other?

This whole post can quickly devolve into a string of questions with no answers. But sometimes life is a string of questions with no answers. Or at least, no answers that we can immediately identify.

As an introvert that likes to observe the world more often than I like to actively participate in it, I do tend to easily fall into periods of introspection and quiet query. At no point do I find any of the answers that I seek, but I continue to ask. Maybe that’s why I went into science. Always asking questions. Even when you find answers, they only uncover the next set of questions. It is a profession where always asking “but what about…: is acceptable. Honestly this should be acceptable in any profession, but it tends to come out more often in the sciences and academia.

The older I get (I was rudely reminded that college was 20 years ago. I am still in denial that I am that old), the more I wonder about everything that I have done, and what could have been different had I made other choices along the way. And then I wonder if those choices made, the ones that have compounded and formed me into the person I am at this moment, should have been different. Maybe right now, who I am on this day, is who I am meant to be. And even if I can’t see it, the threads of the universe need me here for some unfathomable reason that I may never have an answer to. Do I need to have an answer?

I’m not particularly religious, despite having grown up Catholic. I walked away from religion a long time ago. I still have faith, but it is more abstract. It is faith in the universe. Faith that I am but a whisper of stardust, and minute thread in the fabric of the universe that can be remade and woven into a story far greater than I will ever know.