scijessreads

I think this series saved the best for last, in terms of stories. Something about Lucy and Bastian just broke me and put me back together again. There is nothing that I have in common with either of the main characters and yet I could see myself in their choices and emotional reactions. Although maybe the religious questioning that Lucy is going through is closer to my own issues with religion and faith than I would like to admit to. And the idea of just getting out in the world to find out who you are away from everything and everyone you have ever known. OK, maybe there is more of me in these characters than it seems at first glance…

Lucy’s innocence and desire to just get out and explore – and learn who she is after years spent abused in a cult – was beautiful. It wasn’t played down, it was respected and allowed to inform her character and let her grow. Her simple quest for freedom turns into a show of resilience and strength and complete joy at being able to do new things.

Bastian, oh Bastian. The quiet ones contain multitudes. He is keeping his own demons at bay, sometimes by a thread. He also uses those demons of addiction to hold himself back, to cut off anything deeper for fear of what might happen.

These two wounded souls are thrown together on a road trip, Bastian as the grumpy paid babysitter to Lucy. Lucy wants a chance, finally, to do things on her own without someone telling her what is allowed. And somewhere between bucket lists, kitschy tourist attractions, and roadside motel rooms, these two find a lot more than either of them bargained for.

The trauma that they both have is so carefully written, never being played lightly. It informs both Lucy and Bastian’s actions. It also shows that trauma and healing are not linear. Once you are out of a dark moment, things are not magically better forever. Both Lucy and Bastian have to learn, to a degree, how to talk to one another, and how to not let their pasts steal their futures, even if they do guide them.

This is one of those books that just sneaks up on you and at the end, you’re crying. It has delicious spice, yes, but also a quiet feeling of just wanting to find yourself in a world that you don’t yet feel is your own. Lucy’s bright optimism is a perfect counterpoint to Bastian’s spikes-out exterior. As I read their story, I couldn’t help but think about the Tracy Chapman song “Fast Car” (it’s been back in the media lately with a recent country cover). The story of the song and the story here are not the same, but the lyrics do kinda fit:

“You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere.”

*Thank you to the author, Naomi Loud, for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

I also highly recommend the first two books in the series. The entire trio are excellent examples of dark romance done right. I found Was I Ever Here by chance on Kindle Unlimited, and loved it. I was fortunate to get to read an ARC for Was I Ever Real earlier this year. While Lucy and Bastian have my whole heart, Sunny and Byzantine from the first book will always hold a special place there as well.